They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
