I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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