they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
