this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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