I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
