Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
