Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
