Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
