we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
