I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
