he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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