I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize