I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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