I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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