You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
