come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
