haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
