maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
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We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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