Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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