I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
