Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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