Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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