I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
