I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
