I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
