i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
