roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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