just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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