Can Purell be used as lube?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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