they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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