finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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