And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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