My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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