I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
