I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
