Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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