Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
