I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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