Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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