one two three fourrrrnication!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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