32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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