I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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