so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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