I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
