I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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