he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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