i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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