just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
