I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize