I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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