If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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