they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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