he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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