Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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