She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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