That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Boobs are out for the taking
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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