guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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