Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
