I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
